Brief Thoughts (No. 38)

On validation: 

Most people spend a lot of their lives feeling ignored or criticized or misunderstood. The cumulative effect of these experiences of being forgotten or corrected is that people feel unsure of who they are – or, in some cases, too scared that who they are isn’t good or lovable enough.

If you give these people a chance to really shine, then they recapture a part of their existence that they have been longing to find – the sense that they indeed have something of value to contribute to the world, and that their life means something important after all.

Brief Thoughts (No. 37)

When I’m talking to Siri on my iPhone, I try – at least some of the time – to be polite and throw in a “please” or a “thank-you.” I know Siri’s not human, of course, but I figure that, if I get in the habit of barking out commands to Siri, I might condition myself to be a little less kind to real people – and that’s not a good habit to get into. Besides, I once read that Siri and Alexa and other digital assistants are usually given female voices as their default setting because, subconsciously, female voices are easier to boss around. Not sure how true of an explanation that is, but I certainly don’t like the implications if it’s even partially true.

There’s an interesting discussion of this topic here.

Brief Thoughts (No. 36)

In your suffering, you have turned to God. You have questioned Him and grappled with Him. You have asked many questions about life, and its purpose, and why things are the way they are.

It’s not easy to accept a cross like yours; it can feel impossibly heavy at times. But in choosing to carry it, you have in fact made a choice that reveals something very deep and essential about who you are: namely, that, even when things are hard, your instinct – your choice – is to follow Love.

This fact of your character tells me something very important about you. It tells me that your soul is impressed upon by God, and that, somewhere in the very core of your being, you have hope in the beauty and the goodness of life, even as a thousand pieces of evidence are telling you otherwise. That’s a rare and a beautiful gift; may no one ever take it from you.

O mio babbino caro

I don’t listen to a lot of classical music, but this instrumental version of “O mio babbino caro,” with violin by Joshua Bell, came on while I was driving today and made me cry. Lovely.

Tunnel.
Tunnel. Pittsburgh, PA.

Scorched-Earth Policy

Leave nothing untouched.
Everything burns.
Everything falls to the ground in ash,
undone and unaccounted for.
Be ruthless in your destruction –
keep no photograph,
no memory,
no scrap of paper,
no lingering glance,
no wondering “what-if,”
no half-heard sigh,
no music,
no joy,
no laughter,
no hope,
and – especially –
no love.
Burn it all.
Spare no corner of the earth.
Let the land go dry as bone,
parched and purged
of all the unnecessary reminders.
Be unforgiving in your pursuit.
This war is one-sided.
Take your heart and throw it on the heap.
It’s done you no good.
Why trust it now?
Light your last match,
enkindle the flame,
and watch as the remnants of your life
go up in smoke.

Brief Thoughts (No. 35)

Sometimes you start to think about your life in ways that seem sophisticated and smart, because they are intricate and complicated, but in the process of doing so, you may be failing to ask the questions that are actually wise – the questions that will lead you more surely to truth and understanding than the complicated lines of thought that you believed were helping you to appreciate the complexity of life.

Remember, simplicity is your friend. Don’t get bogged down in unnecessary problems.

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