Social media and I don’t get along very well. Years ago, when I was starting college, I was genuinely addicted to Facebook, spending hours a day on the site. Later on, I made other accounts (Twitter, Instagram), but I ultimately chose to deactivate most of my social media presence because it always seemed to do me more harm than good. Recently, for some reason or another, I reactivated my Instagram account, and then ended up stuck on the site for a week before it allowed me to close my profile again. The experience led me to compile the following (embarrassingly long) list of pros and cons of social media use.
+ Pros
- Having a space to share creative work (writing, art, music, photography, etc.); building a creative community.
- Relatedly, achieving a larger audience for your work than you might otherwise have.
- Easily remaining a part of the lives of people whom you don’t otherwise “see” anymore.
- Knowing about milestones in people’s lives – and sending them congratulations.
- Learning what cool things the people you know are up to.
- An outlet for expressing yourself.
- The sweet feeling you get when people you like and respect send you kind messages.
- A lower barrier for striking up conversations with people you only know peripherally (or with people whom you might feel awkward just calling or emailing out of the blue, but whom you’d nonetheless like to get to know better).
- The inspiring feeling you get (sometimes – if you’re in the right mindset) when seeing other people’s wild adventures.
- Real-time news transmissions (which can be important in times of crisis and for social movements).
- Specific support groups (e.g., chronic illness communities) which can make you feel understood and less alone.
- Memory-keeping (photos and mementos from poignant times in your life).
- A marketplace for reusing, recycling, and reselling goods.
- Sharing happy and important moments from your life.
- Good conversations sometimes come out of social media (but these can transpire offline, too).
– Cons
- Obsession and addiction set in; it’s like a drug.
- Stalker-ish tendencies (and the uncomfortable temptation to pry into people’s lives) get activated.
- Reduced attention span; diminished focus; exacerbated ADHD symptoms. Constantly preoccupied with thoughts of social media and constantly hankering to interrupt whatever you’re doing to “check in” online.
- Insecurities start flaring, leading to emotional volatility. Experienced as a dramatic need for affirmation. (“Have they liked my post yet? I only have two likes. It’s been eight minutes. Maybe I should remove it.” “They didn’t leave a comment? They must hate me.” “They only said I looked ‘good’? Why didn’t they say I looked ‘great’?” etc., etc.)
- Feeling depressed about the turns your life has taken. Feeling small and insignificant compared to the many people who seem to have big, adventurous, successful lives. In particular: feeling dejected about not achieving the same, much-desired milestones as others (getting married, having kids, etc.). Falling into the comparison trap.
- Easily sucked down the rabbit hole, losing hours of time to mindless pursuits.
- Excessive self-obsession and undue concern with the way you’re styling and presenting yourself. Preoccupation with reception (rather than content and connection).
- Feeling in danger of living life through the screen (instead of in the outside reality).
- After using: feeling dissatisfied at having “filled” yourself with something lacking in real value or substance (although there are exceptions). As though you’ve just gorged on junk food (though there may be a time and a place for that, too).
- The temptation to check your social media accounts in front of others, instead of being truly present to the people you’re with. (This is a big pet peeve of mine; I hate when people do this to me.)
- Being denied the pleasure of catching up with friends in person and actually being surprised at how they’ve been and what they’ve been up to (because you’ve already been following the trail of their lives online).
- Political tensions and inhumane or petty fights, judgments, and insult-slinging.
- Overstimulation: too much information; a never-ending, unquiet flow of items to update yourself on.
- Privacy concerns and the oversharing of personal details.
- The temptation and impulse to just “publish fast” – without slowing down to ensure the quality of your content. (But maybe there’s a place for that, too?)
- Jealousy and envy.
- Feeling that an activity or an event or a moment from your life isn’t “real” or legitimized until it’s been posted and shared on social media.
- The prideful sense that you’ve been “chosen” to be among the “elite few” when you’ve been followed back by a popular or cool or otherwise mysterious person.
- Feeling alienated and left out when you see people you know getting together without you.
+/- Ambivalent Points (Which Are Part-Pro/Part-Con)
- Giving people a voice, especially if they’re shy or somehow prevented from sharing their thoughts in other ways (obviously good) – but sometimes there’s value in silence and restraint, or in not reaching a very vocal opinion about absolutely everything. Also, sometimes some very hateful or destructive voices get amplified.
- Seeing life through the lens of how to translate it into a shareable, artistic product.
- Social support (good) – but what happens if you make a bid for support online and don’t get it? You’re left feeling very vulnerable.
- The permission to give space to and celebrate the ordinary moments of daily life (good) – but this can turn into an unnatural documentation of everyday things. Some things are meant to remain private.
- How authentic is a connection formed with hundreds of people? But, then again, there is a place for different types of connections, some more intimate than others.
- “Virtue signaling” – but, on the other hand, there might be a genuine impetus to stand up for a cause and become more socially motivated.
- A strong focus on aesthetics.
- People may “forget” about you if you’re not on social media (but I believe that the people who are really meant to be in your life will be, social media or not).
- Only showing what appears to be good and great about your life. Maybe that’s OK (because it can be uplifting and inspiring and positive), but it might, in certain contexts, come off as inauthentic and/or perpetuate a cycle of depressing comparisons.
- A desire to connect, commune, and be affirmed is normal – but social media can distort these natural desires into unhealthy and unfulfilling habits.
- The tendency to construct an aspirational “alter ego” which doesn’t reflect the offline self – but perhaps this is therapeutic for some people?
On balance (and for me personally), I find the cons to repeatedly outweigh the pros. I’m healthier when I don’t use social media. If there were a way for me to “heal” my brain and my emotions, so that I were more immune to the drawbacks, perhaps social media would have more of a place in my life. But I just don’t seem to be someone who can use social media “well.” Granted, I’m probably more sensitive to any harmful effects than most (simply because of the way I’m wired), but I’d wager that social media is affecting a lot of people more than they’re willing to admit. What do you think?
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Bonus quotation: “This means you have to grasp that your manic forms of connectivity—cell phone, email, text, Twitter—steal most chances of lasting connection or amazement. That multitasking can argue a wasted life. That a close friendship is worth more than material success.” – Anne Lamott, in her short essay “Time Lost and Found.”