Don’t fear what comes next. The most beautiful part of life is falling in love with what is good. When you learn to put aside your selfish ways, you find yourself happier and more satisfied than before. Whoa – the tables have turned and there’s sense in the paradox. What do you think you were given a mind for? To keep everything nice and neat? Or to test the boundaries of what is true and discover for yourself the wideness of the world?
…
Once there was a man whom you loved. He carried himself tall and straight, with nothing but love in his heart. You thought it was magnificent, the way he learned to live in such an upright way – so you began to follow his steps and walk in the manner of his life. You couldn’t tell whether he was doing it out of joy, or out of a fear of doing wrong – sometimes the difference wasn’t so easy to see.
But whenever he asked you how you felt, whether you were happy or not – you felt a twinge in your heart that told you something was amiss. So finding the courage to examine your soul and look for the truth, you bid farewell to the man you loved and began to walk in the way you were called.
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How the moths have found the way
to your drawers—
I haven’t a clue.
They’ve been waiting for years
just to find the food
of your sweeter,
sadder
lives.
…
Well, the weather is nice. The weather is fine. When it comes to the art of finding Truth, you must be scrupulous in discerning yourself. Yes, you must spare no effort to uncover the motives and promptings of your heart, and make yourself free as a bird to be led in the direction of Truth – unanchored to the desires you have for This to be So and That to be Such. You must desire Truth more than you desire the fulfillment of any particular wish, for otherwise your scales will be unbalanced and your quest for justice will be tipped askance.
…
Be a friend to those who need you.
Be a mother to those who fear.
Be a lover to those who long.
Be a teacher to those who seek.
Be a daughter to the One who made the Heavens and the Earth.
And all shall be well,
All shall be well.
…
Can you find me?
I am lost in the hallways of despair,
flashing my light
into the infinite underground.
…
Boo! The magic of the season has stolen your wits away.
…
Please, my GOD, point me in the direction of peace.
Show me the way to live a holy life, devoted to You.
Teach me how to fall in love so recklessly that my heart has never felt so big and full of joy.
Let me rejoice in the truth of a more beautiful existence – let me believe in the goodness and beauty of Your ways.
Let me Trust in You as You ask me to.
…
Elizabeth here. When I want to say something, I can and I will. The only trouble is, my thoughts often repeat themselves, and they make a broken record sound nice. You know, it’s hard to shake the habit of worry, the habit of trying to control and maneuver all the little things that give me pause.
I try to wrap myself in a perfect ball – seamless, polished, unimpeded, whole. But what a lot of self-torment goes into the process – trying to keep everything in line. To be the captain of such a provincial ship – there is no honor in that. Fussing over all the domestic details that should be left to GOD. What un-freedom in the act of trying to turn oneself into a science experiment, always recalling, scrutinizing, and questioning the effects of every morsel of food ingested, the length of every step taken. Hello! We are called to a larger life than this. “Don’t worry about your life, what you will eat. Don’t worry about your body, what you will wear.”
I’ve become an expert in micromanagement – to what avail? The honor is unwanted, is without grace. I’ve not even been successful in attaining the outcomes I purport to ratchet under my command. It’s clear that my surrender and trust work far more miracles than my attempts to control.
Why is this such a hard lesson to learn? I thought I was a good student – so why do I need the lesson repeated so many times?
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My fear is that I’m insane. I’m worried I’ve lost the truth – or maybe never had it at all. What I mean is – my inner voice keeps compelling me to believe in certain things, and yet the outer world doesn’t align. I’m always so confused by the uncertainty of life – everything seems wrong and right all at once. My inner voice (let’s call it that for simplicity) is one of the only things cutting through the chaos and leading me by a surer, more encouraging path. And to be confronted with the possibility that this voice has been only a product of my own imagination, a projection of my own desires – and not a reliable guide to Truth, a beautiful communion with GOD – leaves me stuck, at a standstill, uncertain of everything, not knowing What is true or Whom to trust…. And yet, my simple heart continues to believe. Does that make me insane? Or just a fool with a weakness for Hope?