The Road to Bethlehem

Journal & Essays

The road to Bethlehem is littered with signs. The sky shines with glittering stars and the winds blow in the direction of peace. When the infant Jesus is born, He cries into the night to announce His love for the world. When the people hear, they know that something has changed, something has shifted – and, in the process, the world has consented to never being the same again.

What you do on the road to Bethlehem is less important than who you become. When you try to stop and catch your breath after so much walking, you may discover that the things in your heart are a little lighter, a little less cumbersome than before. It doesn’t matter that you haven’t gotten rid of them all; GOD only asks that you let Him carry the load with you, so that, when the crises of life become too heavy to bear, you will remain upright, untoppled by despair, moving forward as the North Star summons you into the secret depths of her favorite Child’s birthing-place.

And when at last you reach His stable, remember that nothing there is profane. Even the hay in the manger shimmers with light. So remove your shoes, take off your cloak, and bow down your head in silent praise.

In the quiet that ensues, surrender your spirit to the stillness and let your heart be pierced through with love. For how can you harden yourself to the Beauty that calls you by name, so softly and sweetly, on this holiest of winter nights?

Learning How to Love

Short Fiction & Prose

“The most beautiful part of life is the part where you learn how to love.”

Some time ago, a girl met a boy who awoke a dimension of her soul that she didn’t know existed. When he came into her life, it was as if two souls joined together as very old and very dear friends. It was hard for her to describe any other way, because the experience was beyond any words she had been taught in this language of ours.

When she realized that she was in love with the boy, she began to think about her life in more enchanting terms. For her, it was a matter of raising the soul to what it desired – rather than frantically trying to make two incompatible things lie together in an unnatural way. What she felt – and continued to feel – toward this boy she loved was as easy as breathing, as clear as the bluest sky on a cloudless day. How could she express the instinct of her soul – to love, to join, to become one with this person who was at once so known and so mysterious? The thought of union filled her with yearning, with an inexplicable sense of rightness and peace. How could she dream of anything more incandescent in all the world?

And yet – the road to union, the path of love, was unpredictable and lined with thorns. In life, there are always difficulties to contend with – especially, it seems, when you are in pursuit of something so good you can barely speak. In my opinion (though I could be wrong), it is usually fear who muddies things up. Lousy old fear – that familiar companion – who confuses minds and tortures hearts in the form of doubts and hesitations and retreats from the truth. Fear, alas, likes to stand in the way of real love because fear (if you can permit me to say such a thing) is himself afraid – afraid of love. “Perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment.” If I were fear, I’d be frightened, too – for there would be no greater threat to my existence than love.

So, as it was, the girl’s love took her by a long and often demanding way. There were many nights of sadness, when hope seemed like a fragile and fleeting friend. But how could the girl think of choosing another route, another road? When all is said, and the chaos of life dies down to the core of stillness that rests in every human being, it becomes clear that the only thing that counts, the only activity that could be multiplied one thousand times and still feel fresh and compelling and new, is love.

“In the evening of life, we will be judged on love alone.” What more beautiful tribute to the God Who made us than to pour our hearts out in the service of another’s good? Can we stretch ourselves to care so much for another human that we forget ourselves in the process – and so, in forgetting, rediscover ourselves in the truth of who we really are? It is always in giving that we receive, and in dying to self that we are born again. The girl knew this truth in the depths of her heart and she kept her eyes fixed on a reality that seemed invisible to so many others.

And so, in the end, we can say that the girl gave her heart to the most beautiful person she’d ever known – and desired his happiness with all her soul – only to find a simple, quiet acceptance of life as it was, unfolding with all its surprises in the most awesome and impossible ways.

Quotations

Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.

Howard Thurman

The Merton Prayer

Prayers

A prayer by Thomas Merton.

MY LORD GOD,
I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself,
and the fact that I think that I am following Your will
does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please You
does in fact please You.

And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this You will lead me by the right road
though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust You always
though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for You are ever with me,
and You will never leave me to face my perils alone.

"Listen to a reading of this piece."

Fragments: Turning Within

Journal & Essays

Some fragments of journal entries, gathered to loosely reflect the theme of turning to God in the midst of confusion and following the simpler interior way. 

…

You know that things are unusual when you ask your brain to supply you with sense and all you get are vague gestures at reason. You can see that most of us are scrambling to find the meaning in a world that’s gone insane.

…

The way is long and uncertain. Lots of trouble, lots of pain. The chest is first to experience the pressure, the blow. How can the human heart, fragile as it is, endure so much?

What is the secret to resilience, the thing that gives the heart a will to survive? We can’t imagine our lives into existence; we can only sustain the lives we’ve been given with a commitment to prayer, to joy, to loving as deeply and intensely (intently?) as we can.

…

Be not afraid.

The things that give you fright are harmless at best – mostly made up in your mind as phantoms of unrest and disease.

If you believe the troublesome thoughts without cause, you will find yourself going insane.

So the best thing to do is to close your eyes and ask for the truth. “GOD, what is the truth?” Ask and He will respond. Be attentive to Him and His voice will lead you toward the end of your desire – which is Truth and Love itself.

…

The soul of your house is filled with love. The windows need cleaned, but the soul is good, and soon, with a little soap and a little water, the sun will stream through.

…

The problem with trying to live uprightly is that temptation gets in the way. There are moments of turmoil when the right thing is clear, but the wrong thing dresses itself up in more attractive clothes to make you feel you’ve denied yourself real life or joy by abstaining from its charms.

The only response in such situations is to hear the Inner Voice and listen to its call.

…

If you take heed and follow the precepts of Christ, you will find yourself a new and liberated person, free from the bonds of distress and despair brought on by the oppressor of souls. Hold fast to the truth and you will see your mind and heart set free.

…

Yes, the way is narrow, but there are ways to keep yourself on the right path.

The first of these ways is love. The last of these ways is also love.

For in the end, what will count is how much we have loved one another and loved our GOD.

Be at peace, for the things you wish to know are revealed in the quiet of your soul.

…

Seasons change, GOD does not. He is a constant Presence Who provides your Rock of Safety and your Bed of Peace. Pretend not to know all His ways – for His ways are beyond your grasp and His thoughts are above your own.

But listen to the sound you hear in the depths of your soul – and you will begin to see how GOD is calling you to live. He will leave you His Spirit to guide and direct, and to bring you into the mysteries of His pure and profound Love. Be at peace, for the way you will know (though you may not comprehend the whole)… when you rest in Him and rely on His care. Amen.

…

Where will we find our peace? Not inside a drawer. Not inside a cupboard. Not inside a lock-box of things the Earth supplies. No – we will find our peace sitting calmly in the center of things, waiting for us to choose the simpler, quieter way. Why would we desire any other way?

…

The simplicity you ask for is simple indeed. You don’t need to go looking far and wide for something that exists within. Remember how easy it is to let go of all the fuss and turn to Him who dwells inside.

…

The way is simple. Say yes.

Fragments: Freedom

Journal & Essays

I found a reason to escape the prison I was in.

The reason was simple and good: I saw a ray of light and it transformed the darkness. It was the light I wanted and the light I sought – and it was the light that made me free. 

…

Freedom. What does it mean?

It is not merely the ability to choose according to our wildest whim and do whatsoever we please. People think this is true, but they have not realized that choosing according to what drives us to do unhealthy or lesser things is really not an act of freedom at all.

No – rather, freedom is (to put it simply) the ability to choose what is really and truly good, even when the choice is hard. It means choosing to honor our souls with the decisions that bring the most health, beauty, goodness, and life.

…

Sad, the things we’ve allowed ourselves to get accustomed to. Sad, the things we keep ourselves from doing because we’re too afraid to be set free.

…

Once upon a time, you found yourself lost in a hallway of fright. You couldn’t move your feet either left or right, because your mind was so troubled by fears of what might lie on either side. So you stood there, waiting, unable to move, and to pass the time, you sang a song – the song of your youth. You forgot the words, but knew the rhythm, so you made up words of your own; and the verses were calm, and the verses were cool, and after a while, your feet grew a little less stiff, and soon enough, you were walking whichever way you chose – and if the gremlins passed by, you didn’t know, because they were terrified of your song and kept far away in their fear of beautiful things.

…

You must write if you are called to write – otherwise, a part of your soul becomes sick. This is the path toward going insane: repressing the thing you’re meant to become and denying the love you’re meant to experience.

…

When we stop trying to control the direction of our lives, we will find that there is more to discover than we ever dreamed.

Back to Top